12 July 2011

The Surgical Grasshopper

This morning in the OR, I was debriding a gangrenous hand when all of a sudden I felt a little pop on my surgical mask . . . right on the bridge of my nose . . . where the thin metal strip bends down to help keep the mask in place.

Having never before experienced a 'pop on my surgical mask', I assumed something had been twisted, I moved funny, and the little metal strip snapped into place, and I thought nothing more of it.

That is, until . . .


As I stared intently at the dead tissue on my patient's hand, I noticed a faint line wiggle in that blurry space in the field of vision between my eyes.  'That was weird' I thought to myself.

Microseconds later, another wiggle.

I converged my eyes as far as they would go and saw a tiny head with thousands of eyes and two antlers staring back at me from the bridge of my mask-covered nose.

Trying not alert Soho or my patient . . . while simultaneously trying to convince myself not to run shrieking through the room as if my hair had caught on fire . . . I slowly lifted the non-pinchy-end of the tweezers towards my face, poking the squatter in his nether-regions.

With one great leap he was on the floor, and with another, he disappeared into thin air.

So, after the match-box-car-sized cockroach in my boot, the scorpion sting, the spiders-that-can-turn-you-to-stone and a wound full of maggots . . . now a grasshopper lands squarely on my nose mid-debridement?!?!?  I'm taking the trophy home for best bug stories.  Go ahead . . . try to top them!  I dare you!

11 comments:

Neighbor L. said...

oh, Deb!!! I'm sitting here laughing out loud!  I don't usually do that when i'm alone!  I will NOT even try to top that!  miss you - take care LOL LOL LOL

Bobnrobn said...

the wound full of maggots wasn't yours, was it?  xoxoxoxo

Bobnrobn said...

I know, I know, it wasn't....i'll take a grasshopper on my nose anyday!  xoxox

Betsy Cruz said...

Wow! What a bug story.  I don't know how you kept so calm! Blessings on your ministry.

Deb. said...

My Neighbor L.!! Thanks for laughing at me . . . I mean, with me. :)

Deb. said...

Just the thought of that makes me want to vomit!!

Deb. said...

Yeah, it definitely was a step in the right direction . . . as far as creepy-crawlies are concerned.

Deb. said...

Ha ha ha!! Thankfully I've learned how to keep my first reaction to most things in my head. :)
Thanks for stopping by.

Mamastouff said...

I've got nothing!! Some ants marching across our kitchen counter...a tick crawling up the bathroom wall after washing the dog...nothing!! You win the prize!!!

Shal said...

Hmm...dares are serious business! I may have a scorpion story, a spider story or two, and regretfully have no shortage of cockroach encounters...but I can boast of no maggots in my inventory. You win! I really do think that there will be an extra jewel in your heavenly crown labeled "Creepy-crawly encounters!" :) Ha! Miss you!

Deb. said...

HA HA HA!!! Yeah, I'll bet you've had you're life's share of cockroaches!!! :)