19 June 2011

Things That Go 'Bump' on My Head

I've come up with a new get-rich-quick scheme.  I'm going to charge the grasshoppers, spiders, and ants rent!  It's brilliant . . . I'd make a fortune!!  We're talking, Oprah-rich!

One would think that after four months I'd start to be a little okay with all the creepy-crawlies.  But, I'm still walking from room to room armed with a can of insecticide.


Apart from trying to suffocate them with can of bugs-be-gone, we're starting to come to a mutual understanding . . . I hate them and they scatter when they see me coming.

That is, until tonight.

I was standing at my kitchen counter, putting some recently washed dishes away in the cabinet, when all of a sudden I felt a slight 'thud' on the top of my head.  The next sensation in between my locks was that of multiple tiny feet dancing a jig.

There comes a point in the panic-response where one loses all sense of rationality.  I reached that point.  Like two raging momma-bears, my hands ripped at my pony-tail, anxious to remove the six-legged BoJangles from my coif.

I felt my flailing hand knock something . . . but when I turned, expecting to find the stunned intruder on the floor, nothing.

That's when the irrationality started.  I began to hop around from one foot to the next.  I tore at my shirt on the off chance he had landed on my back.  I sped to the mirror, where the only thing staring back at me was my now horrifying wife-of-Frankenstein hair.

I never found little twinkle-toes.  But as I typed that last paragraph, a grasshopper jumped up my shorts.  Needless to say, he has leapt his last leap.

6 comments:

Bobnrobn said...

If you were in India, you might have taken the last breath of air from someone's ancestor!  Shame on you!.....xoxoxo

Seth Montgomery said...

you must be in one of the houses by the airstrip. those houses were always overrun with bugs.

Deb. said...

NOW you tell me!!!! : )

Bethany Reamer said...

can't believe it landed on your HEAD!!  that's pretty awful.

Deb. said...

I can't believe I never found whomever it was . . . that's even awfuler!!

Shal said...

Hahaha!! Let me know when you get used to them, because after almost 8 years in India I STILL HATE them all!