02 August 2010

Les Fourmis

I arrived at l'Eau Vive without event.  I had dinner with the other staff (mostly college aged folks from England, Scotland, Ireland, Poland, Canada, and one other American).  The French came back as soon as I stopped being nervous.  I got unpacked in my own private caravan and layed back to read for a bit.  When I got tired I went up to the main building to brush my teeth.

Upon coming back, I pulled back the sheet to find a quarter sized (body, not leg-span) furry khaki colored spider.  Having been very pleased to not a roommate for the 4 weeks, you can imagine my 'disappointment' in finding him there.  Okay, truth be told, I'm just not a spider-lover . . . which he sensed as soon as my flip-flop came speeding for his head--at which time he took off and I shouted 'BUT I'M NOT EVEN IN AFRICA YET!'

It was then, standing barefoot on the bed holding the shoes that had been on my feet as if they were a pair of nunchucks, playing cat and mouse with my arachnid prey, that I got my first glimps of the true tenants of this litte 6x8 tin can I'm now calling home.  As I stood on top of the matress beating the life out of my hairy 8 legged bedfellow, I watched as hundreds of ants fled from their nest which was apparently located beneath my matress.

Unsure of what to do, I remembered these little Raid squares I had found while unpacking . . . thinking it might be helpful, I opened one from it's wrapping and threw it at the ants.  Immediately I realized that my genius PlanA was completely stupid and resulted in nothing more than scattering the colony.  I scrambled for PlanB: the old rusty can of insect spray under the where-there-had-once-been-a-sink counter.

After 2 and a half seconds of spray, the stream stopped.  More ants appeared.  Where tehre had once been a corner, there was a black mass whose parimeter continued to expand.

PlanC: run out of the camper shrieking.  No.  That wouldn't do . . . they're just ants afterall.  But you see, the last time I slept over an ants' nest was when I was in India--this is the south of France and I'm just not in the mood to wake up with little welts all over my arms and legs again.  So the real PlanC: recruits.

I went across to the camper next door which is shared by 3 girls.  Upon seeing the insect army themselves, the more seasoned EVP volunteer took me over to get some abt spray and a new set of sheets.  By the time we returned most of the ants had retreated back down beneath the matress (so I wasn't able to get a photo for you).

But now I was armed. 

My surprise attack didn't last long.  But unfortunately the matress ended up saturated with insecticide and peppered with ant carcasses.  So I took my new sheet and moved to the other side of the caravan for the night.  I had to spend the whole night on my side, as should I have turned onto my back I would have fallen off the bench.  Needless to say I didn't sleep much.  I've now been back twice with my anti-ant spray, and I think maybe a fourth will be necessary. 

Typically I'm not prone to violent behavior.  But when it comes to ants in my bed (or any creapy-crawly really) I have a show-no-mercy diplomatic policy.


Phil said...

"skill in managing negotiations, handling people, etc., so that there is little or no ill will"

Diplomacy: skill in managing negotiations, handling [ants], etc., so that there is little or no ill will

Oxymoron: a notably stupid person characterized by excessive use of topical acne treatment products...

Anonymous said...

I am seasoned EVP girl! yey i got mentioned!
make sure you put this in when you're published please! x

Anonymous said...

I am seasoned EVP girl! yey i got mentioned!
make sure you put this in when you're published please! x